I’ve never been one for New Year’s Resolutions.
I’m not generally moved by the ticking of the clock from one year to the next.
But this year is different.
This the first time in recent memory that I’m getting on board with New Year’s Resolutions.
I’m approaching 2015 in a completely different way.
Yeah, I’m moving to a new apartment (when don’t I move), but this year moving doesn’t take the stage.
For the first time in a while, I feel like I can dig into this year. 2015 won’t be preoccupied with getting settled, finding friends, finding a job. I’m walking into this year in a pretty damn great place.
2015 is the first year, in as long as I can remember, that going into it, I’m really pretty established.
I kinda have it together. (relatively) (more or less)
So now, instead of finding new or figuring shit out, I’m going to use 2015 to unearth things. I want to discover the meat of this year. I’m tired of skidding across the surface. Yeah, I’ve skidded across some amazing surfaces, oh have I ever.
But now. Now, I want more.
There is something to be said for exploring new horizons. There is also something to be said for focusing on what is right in front of you and committing, whole heartedly to that.
The latter has always been tough for me.
I still really don’t know what out of life. I’ve never been one of those (admirable) people who has a general idea of their life plan from youth. For me, it’s pretty much been hit or miss. Try this, try that. What fits? What feels good? It’s only as I get older that “what fits” is finally starting to make sense.
Now, as that takes shape, I think I need to grab it.
I’m still mostly terrified of committing. Committing means staying. Committing means being all in.
Saying all this, committing to commit; it’s a huge weight on my shoulders. It will force me to do more and grow in different ways.
I welcome that, though.
I need that.
I always expect a lot of myself. It’s time to expect different things of me.
It’s scary, but it’s time.
I’m not gonna list “10 Things I’ll Do in 2015!!!” What I hope to achieve isn’t so defined. It’s more general ideas.
Focus. Be present. Stay. Don’t be lazy. Work. Dig deeper. Remember what means most. Focus. Remember who mean most. Stay. Be dedicated. Work.
I won’t get anywhere…anywhere I want to go, at least…without those ideals.
I expect a lot myself, even if I’m not entirely sure what that means right now.
I just know I need to do more and create more.
So cheers to 2015, which will be incredibly terrifying for incredibly different reasons.
Experiencing new and finding new is easy for me.
Staying and being present is something I’m not used to; it’s something that scares me.
But I’m ready to face it, head on. Because I know without facing it, I can’t grow.
And without growth, you get nowhere.