I was sixteen and at that point, I felt like it was never going to happen and when it finally did…I bolted. We’d gone to dinner at a Thai restaurant and then to get gelato. He sort of tricked me into continuing the date, to go see Old School, but having nothing to lose at that point, I agreed. Afterwards, like the seventeen-year-old gentleman he was, he walked me back to my car. When he went in for the kiss, I turned my face away – fast. I immediately backed up made a quick comment about how I needed to go home and thanks for everything and BYE!

The entire drive home, I cursed myself for being so awkward and immature. “PAIGE ELEANOR, you’ve been waiting for this to happen your whole high school life and now you just run away?!” I think I’d put so much pressure on the situation that when it finally happened and I didn’t know exactly what to do, I didn’t even try (I am a perfectionist, after all).

I came home and immediately parked myself at the desktop in the rec room (my command central from ages 14-18). I obviously had to IM my friends to update them on my woeful situation. But he was online, too. He was away, but there. So, in attempt to save face, I IMed him something to the extent of: “hey, I had a really great time…sorry I kinda freaked out at the end.”

He said that IM is the only reason he asked me out again.

My second kiss came from the same boy just a week later. Another parking lot (this time Starbucks), again standing outside my yellow Beetle. He’d come to see me in my high school’s production of South Pacific and we went out for coffee afterwards. I knew it was coming this time. I’d mentally prepared myself. But once more? I faltered. We actually made legitimate lip to lip contact that time, but all I remember of the experience is making a slow, painful groan as it happened…and then quickly turning away, again.

Third date. Yes, he hung in that long. We went to the Magnolia movie theater for a showing of the Quiet American. I remember asking for tips from my friend Louise and she said that if things got too uncomfortable, pretend to be involved in eating the popcorn. But I wasn’t going to cop out; I was determined to make it happen. This time, I just closed my eyes and forge3d onwards. I knew I had to learn how to do this at some point – it’s life skill for goodness’ sake. And I did it. And it was fine. I blundered my way through the experience and the whole thing felt strange. But I did it. It wasn’t life changing or terribly moving except for the fact that I accomplished it.

I don’t remember my fourth kiss. It was from the same boy. As was my fifth and sixth and seventh and fifteenth and fiftieth and two hundredth and one thousandth.

Sixteen-year-old Paige would never, in a million years, have guessed that the boy who gave her that first, painfully awkward kiss would remain in her life for 8 more years. Turns out anyone who can deal with my silly neuroses has long-term potential.

waiting for the mattress delivery guys to come, i took a break on the floor.

heyo, weird iPhone self-portrait

#devilcat, looking particularly angelic while crushing my lovely sunhat

cooking, for the first time in weeks. it was glorious

not cooking = me feeling out of sorts

at the Dallas Comedy House in Deep Ellum, waiting for a friend’s brother to perform stand-up

Utilizing my Central Market buys: a *fresh* 9 grain tortilla, refried beans, local organic eggs scrambled eggs, leftover steamed broccoli, and fresh salsa.

As usual, I’m awful at measuring volume, so there was no way I could fold this all into the tortilla. So I ate it with a fork a knife. And it was delicious.

Central Market is the best grocery in the whole wide world. I spent the past seven years with a hole in my heart because they are only located in Texas. Thank goodness we are reunited.

It has wonderful quality produce, an insane selection of cheese, charcuterie, prepared foods, salsas…and the bulk bins! They are filled with grains I only know about because I went to a hippie healthy culinary school, nuts, coffees, every candy you could ask for, and spices (pictured).

Confession: I went twice yesterday.

Thanks for humoring my month-long hiatus. During April I: decided to move to Dallas, found an apartment, went car shopping, turned 25, and officially moved to Dallas! Phew. As much as I enjoyed the time off, I really miss taking photographs. In all honesty, I only picked up my camera about twice the whole month. The shame! So I’m committing to another photo-a-day theme for this month to get myself back on the wagon.

To ease myself back into taking daily photographs, I picked a theme that shouldn’t cause me too much stress — FOOD! I’ll be taking a photograph of food every day, most likely something I eat (or drink).

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(That’s champagne from 1959, which I enjoyed this summer in France. It was so old that it was no longer carbonated and it tasted more like sweet wine than champagne)

In other news, I’m starting a new job TOMORROW, hoorah! Also – my living situation is unique because the apartment I love love isn’t available until July, so I’m splitting my time between my Dad’s apartment and the home of a family friend for the next two months. Neither have internet. God help me. Long story short, I can’t guarantee I’ll be a good little blogger and post every day, but I’ll do my best.

Thanks for your patience and here’s to a delicious month!

Lounging the day away on the Pacific ocean

Waikiki, Honolulu, Hawaii

September 27, 2010

once home, shoes were immediately kicked off